I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just high enough for therapy.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
