He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
