i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
