no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
