i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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