Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
