the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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