So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
