just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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