and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
