JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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