Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
