I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
