direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
