My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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