you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
