I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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