using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
