my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
