Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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