He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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