There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
