OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
