i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
