I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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