is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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