weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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