quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
