Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
