Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
not ubering you a puppy
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
