found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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