Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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