That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
