OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
