I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
