Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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