Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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