Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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