Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
