before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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