I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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