I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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