like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
