We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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