I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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