i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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