so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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