On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize