I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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