my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
