Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
