you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
