this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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