It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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