I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
