my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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