My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
