what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
