Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
