Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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