She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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