Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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