none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
