I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
