it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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