The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
