I skipped work to stalk him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize