Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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