Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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