after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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