Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
