yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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