I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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